Day 44 Good Friday

Scripture: Ps 22; Isaiah 52:13—53:12; Hebrews 10:16-25; 5:7-9; John 18:1—19:42.

Scripture Standout: Hebrews 10: "²⁴ And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, ²⁵ not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."

Morning thought: Funny how once again, things are ending where they started. First it was the pancakes. Now, it's this verse. Way back when in the Dark Ages, when I contemplated this little Lenten experiment, I wondered whether blogging about trying to be a better do-gooder was self-serving in some way. My greatest fear was that someone would think it was show-offy or look-at-me-ish or Sue-promoting. I shared this concern with Friend-Who-I-Wish-I-Saw-More. She understood, thought about it, asked me to explore my intentions and then shared two verses with me. They have very different messages. The first was the one about how you should do your good deeds in private:

“When you give a gift to someone in need, don’t shout about it as the hypocrites do – blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity! I assure you, they have received all the reward they will ever get. But when you give to someone, don’t tell your left hand what your right hand is doing. Give your gifts in secret, and your Father, who knows all secrets, will reward you.” (Matthew 6:2-4 NLT)

The second verse she shared was this one, the one we're reading today from Hebrews. Let us spur one another on toward love and good deeds.

I have been reviewing the past 40+ days to find markers of this experiment's results. I'm trying to find correlations between verses I read and deeds that transpired. I want to see if there's a connection between Prayer, Silence and Scripture — my biggest desire is to yield some "scientific data" that will prove beyond a doubt that deeding is a really, really great thing for humanity. But proof might be impossible to nail down. I think to really answer that question, to prove the impact of this experiment, you have to see how that ripple affected the deeded person. And "follow up" is something that is rarely possible, if not impossible, to discern. I will never know, for example, how that lady at the Dreamette felt when she got a free ice cream cone. I will never know if that woman at Walgreens felt any kind of reprieve when I helped her reach something on high shelf. I'll just never know how an act of kindness, a deed, affected a bigger picture. Only God knows that, I suppose.

One other note: waking up early to study, have silence — and blog — can ONLY be achieved sanely in the early morning hours. It has taken me two hours to write this between the near constant "Mom?"s and "Can you?"s and phone calls and "I'm bored"s and "You Never Play With Me"s and intermittent garble from the television and all the well-intended but ANNOYING interruptions that are part of a Day Off from school. Lesson learned? Get it done before anyone is up. I slept in this morning, and am regretting it.

A final thought this morning. Another journalist who was ill died yesterday. The paper shared her final story, which is so timely. Here 'tis:

Longtime Times-Union religion writer Barbara White died Wednesday. In the last weeks of her life, she wrote this, her final column.

I was 14 when I heard God tell me that he loved me. After I got over the awe of knowing God loved me, I had no idea what to do about it.

It was a Saturday afternoon at Bartram Girls School, where I was a boarding student. I was alone in the library. It was quiet. I asked myself, “What do you do when God says he loves you?” I had no answer.

The next day they packed us all on the school bus and hauled us off to an Episcopal church on Hendricks Avenue where we sat glumly in a pew and waited for church to be over. (Years later a woman my age said she had been in the congregation and thought we were from an orphanage because we looked so sad.)

That morning the minister announced that confirmation classes would begin soon for those who wanted to join the church. I said, “OK, that’s what you do. You join God’s church.”

A week ago, I am now 81, a young woman asked me what I would like to say to Christians. There are so many different possible answers but the one that came to my lips was, try to find out as much as you can about the God who says he loves you.

She asked how would you go about that? I said read the Bible with that as your intention. Not to analyze or figure out what it means to you or the history of it. Just see what it tells you about this God who declares to me and to his chosen people and to all who would come that he loves them.

Start out with a favorite passage, something that you are familiar with that is meaningful to you. What does this tell me about God who loves me? If you are the kind who makes notes, make a note of what it was.

Look at everything in the world that God created and see what it says about him as a lover of all mankind, of individuals. 

Look at your life, your joys and sorrows, your pains and passions, and ask God how he can love all of them. And, what he wants me to do with them?

This is not a quick study. So while you’re doing other things, ponder, ponder, “Who is this God who loves me?” Make it personal, keep it personal. When I have been able to journal, which is sporadically, it’s one of the things I try to note. What am I thinking about God right now? What do I understand about him now that I didn’t understand before?

During crises in my life I have learned a lot about myself. I have learned things that made me wonder how God could possibly love me. Whether I can answer that question or not, he still does love me despite the awful things I found out about myself.

It’s been the most pleasure-giving study. How can it not be a pleasure to examine the love someone has for you. When you can trust it, rely on it, know that it’s true, know that it’s deeper than you can understand and that it will always, always, always be there.

As I approach the time, in days or weeks, to go to be with him, I am at rest and at peace in this knowledge. I don’t know anything else that can give you this rest and this peace.

You say bon voyage when someone sets out on a long journey. I don’t know what you say when you set out on this task of knowing the God who loves you, but have a wonderful time. I did.

Read more at Jacksonville.com: http://jacksonville.com/news/columnists/2011-04-22/story/final-column-understanding-nature-divine-love#ixzz1KGoEX1rI


The Deed/The Day: I went on a bike ride today with Marley. That doesn't sound like a deed, does it? But it was. She wanted to do something "wis" me. Really badly. And you know what my reaction was? I was annoyed. I was bothered because I had work to do, and lots of people around me needing things — and here were all these vacationing, Good Friday-ing people in my midst. The work I had to do would require about 2 hours of uninterrupted concentration, and that was in short supply. Everytime I focused, Marley loomed beside me at the computer. "I want to do something wis you," she sulked. I asked her what her friends' mothers did with them. Were there things they did together? Was I missing something? I mean, I can be a pretty fun mom — but I also have to gitterdun. And I know my friends are in similar situations. She had no answers. But she insisted. She wants to do something wis me. (in fact, just as I'm writing this...I'm being asked for popcorn. KE$SHA's on, hello! Can I berrrrrring the popcorn in to her? Grrrrrr.) My deed? I shut my computer. We hopped on our bikes. We rode 2 miles to the Peterbrooke Chocolate. We sweat, a lot. And it was fun. Sometimes, people just want your attention. Sometimes, people just want to be wis you. Isn't a deed giving yourself, your time, to someone who just wants to be — WIS you?