Day 61

Scripture: Ps 25, 9, 15; Daniel 4:19-27; 1 John 3:19—4:6; Luke 4:14-30


Scripture standout: Ps 25: "⁸ Good and upright is the LORD; therefore he instructs sinners in his ways. ⁹ He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way."


Morning thoughts: This thought is relieving — and scary! There are many days l feel like I have humility nailed! But often I'm not sure if my humility is something else — perhaps it's better desribed as self-deprication, disorganized-ness or laziness. Sometimes I wonder if I am confusing my desire to be humble and follow the plan I know God has marked for me, with being too reactionary, or impulsive or disorganized.  I am terrible about keeping a calendar and making long-term plans and keeping a budget. I'd rather go with what feels right.  So how do I balance letting go, throwing my hands up and releasing control of my life to God with being an interactive participant? What does humility really  mean?


Being humble comes easier for some than others. I think I fall on the side of "letting go and letting God," but I also believe that comes from a personal deficiency of wanting to be the passenger, not the engineer. It's in my DNA. Person men, like my father and his brothers, are often described as "like nailing jello to the wall." That's me sometimes.  I want someone else to be in charge, so a complete dependence on God resonates. I have plenty of friends, however, who are completely opposite.  I was talking to one friend just the other day who has every life detail planned and prescribed. There are no surprises for this buddy — she even dictates which gifts people should give her for various life celebrations. Another friend has such a desire to be personally sure of every decision's "best answer" that she studies, scrutinizes and analyzes her way into a complete frenzy.


I don't know the best path to humility. But it sounds like this is an important part of hearing God's direction.


The Deed/The Day: So I spent the first half of the day working until I could justify a trip to the mall to get my Mother's Day/Birthday present from David — the iPhone 4. That wasn't very conducive for seeking others' needs — far, far from it. The "genius" I got stuck with was hardly that — he had to keep going to the back to see if someone could help him figure it out. Ugggh. As much as I reminded myself to be a good, deeding, patient customer  — I just. Couldn't. Do it. Genius...not...geesh!


Of course, the rest of the day was a blur and I found myself back at the house ready for bed, coffee made, lunch boxes packed staring at my computer screen. I resorted to another note of thanks via email. Low, low, low-hanging fruit. This time, the victim was Ben's trumpet teacher, Cliff Newton. Poor Mr. Newton. He is such a big teddy bear of a patient person with ears of steel. Today he hosted Ben and two other boys to a group rehearsal for their big band concert tomorrow night. Ben's trumpeting is not altogether — pleasant. Yet. His songs are consistently punctuated by wheezing, whooping screetches. Spit flies. Some songs might sound better if they're played on a chalk board. But Ben is inarguably getting better and better and he really seems to enjoys it. So I let Mr. Newton know how much his influence and instruction are appreciated.