Day 10 of Lent (Day 356 of Experiment)

Scripture: Ps 55, 138; Ps 139:1-17; Genesis 41:1-13; 1 Corinthians 4: 1-7; Mark 2:23—3:6


Scripture standout: Ps 138: "⁸ The LORD will vindicate me; 
   your love, LORD, endures forever—
   do not abandon the works of your hands."

Ps 139: " ¹ You have searched me, LORD,
   and you know me.
² You know when I sit and when I rise;
   you perceive my thoughts from afar.
³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
   you are familiar with all my ways.
⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
   you, LORD, know it completely.
⁵ You hem me in behind and before,
   and you lay your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
   too lofty for me to attain."

His Deed/The Day: Upon retrieval of my cookie order today, I told a Girl Scout to "keep the change." Oh how I doth loveth Girl Scout cookie time when it comes to deeding. (And oh how I loveth Girl Scout cookies!)


Deedclosure: Let me be honest and very clear here: It is much easier — and often more fun and tangible — to buy a deed. It's simple and effective to make a donation. Going to the grocery store to buy ingredients for someone's dinner — that's a snap when the credit card swipes! The rewards are great when you buy a gift. And, of course, there's always a take-a-penny-give-a-penny dish, a tip jar or a school service project at which you can throw your loose change — and feel like you're helping someone big time. A little jing-a-ling makes daily deeding a lot more manageable.


But "free" do-gooding opportunities are just as plentiful. I'm going to tell you about two of my favorites.


The first is...listening!! 

I listen to people every day for my job. That's what I do. I ask questions, wait for their answers and ask more questions. People love to share their stories! In my experience, I feel that most humans are just waiting for opportunities to talk about what happened to them today — or to share a big vision or plan or life dream with someone. People want to share — with someone who cares enough to ask. Can you be that person?


At The Resident, we have two writers who interview old-timers in the neighborhood. Their job is to sit down with local elderly people and listen to them reminisce about "the way things were." In fact, that's the name of their column. These writers remark all the time to me what a blessing it is to do the interviews — and share them. What a gift it is, they say, to be the first and maybe last person who has ever asked them to share their life experiences and memories "on the record."


Challenge yourself next time you're talking to someone. Be a reporter. Can you listen more than you gab? Can you remove the words "I" and "me" from the conversation — and ask more questions that include the word "you?" Can you focus and be present when someone is pouring out their most timely challenges, hurts, celebrations or successes? Can you follow up with questions that encourage the person to share more — even when you have big things to talk about yourself? It's hard! As we try to relate to people, it's feels right and natural to share our own personal experiences with others. But allowing someone the opportunity to go on and on about themselves offers them the gift of purging and feeling heard.


I much prefer conversations where I ask the question, then press the person's play button. My favorite conversations start with one open-ended question that elicits a long, animated answer.  That's because I'm a closet hermit, a Yoda recluse in disguise! But lately, I have witnessed my own me's creep out in conversation. I've been interviewing Teachers of the Year for the past nine months. I record the interview, transcribe them and share them on the Times-Union blog. While transcribing, I cringe when I hear myself relaying some dork-a** story about myself to the interviewees. Like, do they really want to hear that? It sounds so self-serving and yuck. I remind myself to stick to just asking questions.


The second is...looking behind you when you open a door! 

This is free, easy and makes a difference. Make it a lifetime habit. As you push a door open to enter or leave a space, take a quick look in your rear view mirror. Maybe there's someone else who could benefit from a little door-holding. You can always tell who has a bad case of the me's by the way they come through a door or leave it. The self-centered ones throw a door open and let it slam — totally unaware of the person who might be just a few steps away from the threshold. Hold the door, be aware of who's around you. And who knows what doors may open, when you open doors for others...