Final Thought

Psalm 119: "Deal bountifully with your servant,
   so that I may live and observe your word."

Day 400 THE FINISH LINE!

Scripture: Ps 1, 2, 3, 4, 7; Exodus 14:21-31; 1 Peter 1:1-12; John 14:1-17

Scripture standout: John 14: "‘Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling-places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also. And you know the way to the place where I am going.’ Thomas said to him, ‘Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, you will know my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him.’

 Philip said to him, ‘Lord, show us the Father, and we will be satisfied.’Jesus said to him, ‘Have I been with you all this time, Philip, and you still do not know me? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, “Show us the Father”? Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on my own; but the Father who dwells in me does his works.Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; but if you do not, then believe me because of the works themselves. Very truly, I tell you, the one who believes in me will also do the works that I do and, in fact, will do greater works than these, because I am going to the Father.I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If in my name you ask me for anything, I will do it."

His Deed/The Day: It is unexpected and perplexing that a fun 400-day experiment in daily deeding should end on such a low note — the death of my stepfather, Edgar Danciger. He was 94 and battling cancer, so the thought was not altogether implausible. But the timing, for all intents, sucked. Not to mention, it happened while RB and I were in New York for our annual trip — regaling our 40th birthdays and 400 day experiments with good food, wine and shopping. And then this. Maybe, it was the final reminder that "it's not about me." Others first. Always — even when you've reached the finish line and a little celebration certainly should be in order. Others first. Always.

So RB and I spent Monday morning doing what we do: running Central Park's reservoir, showering and packing. I left a small stone marker atop a Central Park rock as a little memorial to Ed. Its location is not far from where he began his American experience. Then we shopped for some dresses for David's mom before schlepping it all to the airport for the short plane ride home.

Ed's service is on Wednesday. Friends and family are gathering. Opportunities to be a help lurk around many, many corners. Blessings?

Deedsclosure: Signing off, but not stopping. Now that this is a quasi-habit (my research has shown it is darn near impossible to make daily deeding a "natural" act) I aim to continue it and seek opportunities — but not blog about it. I will wake up each morning and read scripture, but I won't be sharing it. Thank you for reading, and I hope your daily deeding adventures are just beginning.

Day 399

Scripture: Ps 133; Acts 4:32-35; 1 John 1:1-2:2

Scripture standout: 1 John 1: "This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light and in him there is no darkness at all."

His Deed/The Day: Second to last day of daily deeding. Praying for an awesome opportunity to get to work and be a servant.

...and for the love of Pete, thank you for it. Thank you for the opportunity to write the obituary for Edgar Danciger today while in NYC. Funny how things turn out.

Deedsclosure: The light. Interesting isn't it how we are told how we can walk in God's light — be in his light —that there's no darkness in his presence. What a way to live! But on the flipside, in those final moments of life — when death is eminent — light is also the goal. In every book and movie about death, someone's going into the light when they die! Remember Poltergeist? "Run to the light, Carole Ann!" There's light in life and death. Thinking about my stepfather-in-law, Ed, right now. Praying that he is running unhindered toward the light. All the while, praying for Ben and Marley and all of the people I love in this world to be warmed by the light. There is light in life. There is light in death.

Day 398

Scripture: Ps 118:14-18 or 118:19-24; Acts 4:13-21; Mark 16:9-15, 20

Scripture standout: Mark 16: "And they went out and proclaimed the good news everywhere, while the Lord worked with them and confirmed the message by the signs that accompanied it."

His Deed/The Day: Well, the second-hand Coking perhaps wasn't so successful yesterday — or maybe it was, not sure — so maybe I will aim today to buy someone's coffee or simply hold a door. Geez, hopefully someone will drop their bag or crap and I can help pick it up. Praying for God to turn on my "other's awareness" vision instead of my star-dar. In addition to cute boutiques and window dressing, we have been looking around for the stars among us. No luck yet, although at Carnegie Deli there was a guy who looked "familiar." Ricky Martin's it for now. But tonight we can add James Earl Jones and Angela Landsbury to the list.

On the way home, I bought some snacks and a Coke — just in case. And sure enough, as I exited the convenience store and listened to the Scottish bagpipe band perform on the streetside, I saw a guy sitting against the wall with his hand out. And with further proof that a cold Coke is always warmly received, he smiled hugely and went bottoms up.

Deedsclosure: Again, the question at the crux of it all. If God created us to live in community with one another and be his angel messengers for each other and to live in partnership with Him, why is it so DANG hard and unnatural to have a constant awareness of other people and their needs? Talk amongst yourselves.

Day 397

Scripture: Ps 116:1-8 or 118:19-24; Acts 4:1-12; John 21:1-14

Scripture standout: Acts 4: "The next day their rulers, elders, and scribes assembled in Jerusalem, with Annas the high priest, Caiaphas, John, and Alexander, and all who were of the high-priestly family. When they had made the prisoners stand in their midst, they inquired, "By what power or by what name did you do this?" Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them, "Rulers of the people and elders, if we are questioned today because of a good deed done to someone who was sick and are asked how this man has been healed, let it be known to all of you, and to all the people of Israel, that this man is standing before you in good health by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified, whom God raised from the dead."

John 21: "After these things Jesus showed himself again to the disciples by the Sea of Tiberias; and he showed himself in this way. Gathered there together were Simon Peter, Thomas called the Twin, Nathanael of Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two others of his disciples. Simon Peter said to them, "I am going fishing." They said to him, "We will go with you." They went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing.
Just after daybreak, Jesus stood on the beach; but the disciples did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to them, "Children, you have no fish, have you?" They answered him, "No." He said to them, "Cast the net to the right side of the boat, and you will find some." So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in because there were so many fish. That disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, "It is the Lord!" When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on some clothes, for he was naked, and jumped into the sea. But the other disciples came in the boat, dragging the net full of fish, for they were not far from the land, only about a hundred yards off.
When they had gone ashore, they saw a charcoal fire there, with fish on it, and bread. Jesus said to them, "Bring some of the fish that you have just caught." So Simon Peter went aboard and hauled the net ashore, full of large fish, a hundred fifty-three of them; and though there were so many, the net was not torn. Jesus said to them, "Come and have breakfast." Now none of the disciples dared to ask him, "Who are you?" because they knew it was the Lord. Jesus came and took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish. This was now the third time that Jesus appeared to the disciples after he was raised from the dead."

His Deed/The Day: As expected, the last few days of this deeding adventure are turning out to be giving big, fat deeds to MYSELF. We went to Evita last night and nearly through our panties on the stage for Ricky Martin, the musical's narrator. He is hot! What a gift! Ended the day with a honkin' yummy cheesecake from Carnegie Deli. I think I'll be packin' heat today — a cold Coke, and cross that off today's list.

So we stopped at a Halal food wagon...one of the most delicious smelling ones with a bin of ice cold cokes and drinks in front. I bought a Coke and then asked the guy to give it to the next person who asked for one. He seemed perplexed, possibly annoyed. We continued on to dinner. On the way back home, I stopped at the same food truck and asked the same guy if he'd given a Coke to someone on my behalf. There was a momentary and telling pause of dishonesty, but he made a big to-do of going to get his boss or friend or whoever to assure me that the Coke had been delivered as promised. Not sure if that deed actually got done or not, but it was kind of fun to try it — and hold someone accountable to the request.

Deedsclosure: Deeding is much more difficult in a fast-paced, frenzied, shoppers paradise.

Day 396

Scripture: Ps 8 or 14 or 118:19-24; Acts 3:11-26; Luke 24:36b-48 


Scripture standout: Luke 24: "While the disciples were talking about how they had seen Jesus risen from the dead, Jesus himself stood among them and said to them, "Peace be with you."


His Deed/The Day: Well, just like last year, I'm taking daily deeding on the road to the most gluttonous, me-centered town on the planet — New York City. RB and I are heading out in short order to explore the city, eat late lunches, stalk playgrounds for stars' children and admire all of the beautiful baubles and frocks. Door-holding and personal assistance will likely be the last few deeds in the 400-day challenge, but then again — perhaps I will pack a few ice cold Cokes in my shopping bag and see what happens.

It is a little bittersweet this time. Because in addition to seeing Ricky Martin in Evita tonight and Angela Landsbury in The Best Man on Saturday, I am leaving a tentative situation here in Jacksonville. David's stepdad, Ed, is not doing well. He is in hospice care and I'm not sure how things are looking. While proceeding with plans always seems to be the right thing in a situation where waiting is not very productive or overly welcomed, it is a little unsettling to be away.


Deedsclosure: Of course, we all know deeding is actually an opportunity to be somebody's angel. And that's just for everyday stuff and support. But when things are desperate and dark — and people are in their final stages — angels really come out of the woodwork. They do. And not that I'd ever like to wish bad things for myself, I often think how sickeningly fortunate people are (I know this sounds bad, but I'm struggling for words) to be in a pit. That is when God swoops in and mobilizes the angels and you actually SEE and FEEL and TASTE his presence in very obvious, palpable, physical ways. I often want to encourage people to write all these encounters down. At the time, the angel moments are such a relief — but how sad it is that they are soon forgotten. I am praying for Ed and Agnes to have lots of angel moments this week, and to remember each one forever.

Day 395

Scripture: Ps 105:1-8; Acts 3:1-10; Luke 24:13-35

Scripture standout: Luke 24: "As they came near the village to which they were going, he walked ahead as if he were going on. But they urged him strongly, saying, "Stay with us, because it is almost evening and the day is now nearly over." So he went in to stay with them. When he was at the table with them, he took bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to them. Then their eyes were opened, and they recognized him; and he vanished from their sight. They said to each other, "Were not our hearts burning within us while he was talking to us on the road, while he was opening the scriptures to us?"

His Deed/The Day: Ever go to bed mad and wake up angry? Ever feel like your chest and throat are so hot you just might vurp lava? I have been feeling this way for the past two nights about a situation affecting our son. He was sexually bullied at a Boy Scout meeting at Southside UMC (in a bathroom of all places) just before Christmas by a 16-year-old boy who is troubled, medicated, ADHDHAHDHDHD whatever, and poor thing, lives with his grandmother, and NEEEEDS scouting according to the adult troop leadership. We immediately airlifted Ben from the troop, but the boy who aggravated him continues on in scouting there. In fact, he was recently promoted. Ben was not physically injured or even mentally scarred, but he was terrified that night. And now we are left with adult troop leaders making excuses and defending the boy's behavior and giving him second chances — all the while discounting Ben's side of the story, and portraying us as overreacters.

This is all coming up again now because several friends' sons have made the cross over to that troop. They're asking questions. And I've been giving them honest feedback about our experience. Long story to a point? I have venom breath now. I go to bed angry. The mama bear's fur has been ruffled big time.

I feel like my deed to the troop leadership should be a fat stinging lawsuit! But that's not the answer. I want my deed to convince other parents to steer clear of this troubled troop! But perhaps that's not the answer either. I want the troop's deed to Ben to be some semblance of an apology or recognition of his feelings. But sadly, that isn't going to happen — so that's not an answer either.

Is there any deed, any do-gooding, that can turn this angry chest heat into a cool, refreshing breath? I only have to turn my head slightly to the left to see what is likely the answer. And there is little drama here. No mention of lawsuits. No pitchforks and torches. No creative literature about how things should play out. It's this, from 1 Thess 5: 16: "Be joyful always (seriously?!?! Even when Mama Bear is this angry?), pray continually (OK...this, I can aim to do) and give thanks in all circumstances (for my son being bullied by some a** hole kid, for Boy Scout leaders portraying my son as unreliable, quiet and overly sensitive...and me as overreactive? Furreal?). For this is God's will for you in Christ."

I get that. It's hard. But I get that. Today's deed will be to start a long mental list of reasons why I should be grateful for this experience. At this point, I can only think of one: that Ben is safe, and that nothing more sinister occurred with him or others. Finding other reasons to give thanks in this circumstance may be tricky, but that will be today's deeding challenge.

GD Boy Scouts.

Deedsclosure:

Day 394

Scripture: Ps 33:18-22; Acts 2:36-41; John 20:11-18

Scripture standout: Ps 33: "Behold, the eye of the LORD is upon those who fear him, *
on those who wait upon his love,"


His Deed/The Day: Another day of getting back to basics. I let two old ladies cross the road. Old ladies= opps for good deeds.

Deedsclosure: Just six more days of this experiment. And already, I feel sad that it's about to be over. Finally, after nearly 400 days of willing a good deed to come along for me to do, the act of do-gooding is beginning to feel a little more like habit. Isn't that strange and awful that it has taken this long for a daily duty to sink in? I mean, isn't it supposed to take 10 times to make something habit? Why is looking out for opportunities to serve others so unnatural and not second nature?

It's been so many days, I can't remember if I mentioned the act of asking. I read a book called "The Prayer of Jebez," or something like that. The idea was, you have to ask God to be a blessing and to "expand your territory." That's where it got into the "pray for money and success and God will give it to you" gray area that I detest about Christian literature. But I did really like, and now embrace, the idea of asking God to open me up each day to the job of blessing somebody. I like the idea of being the servant that has his hand up in the air. Sometimes after my morning runs, my prayer to God is "please use me today, put me to work, work through me to bless someone big time today." I'm not sure if it's the smoking gun of deeding, but it definitely puts me in the right frame of mind.

Day 393

Scripture: Ps 16:8-11; Acts 2:14, 22b-32; Matthew 28:9-15


Scripture standout: Ps 16: "I have set the LORD always before me; *
because he is at my right hand I shall not fall.
9
My heart, therefore, is glad, and my spirit rejoices; *
my body also shall rest in hope.
10
For you will not abandon me to the grave, *
nor let your holy one see the Pit.
11
You will show me the path of life; *
in your presence there is fullness of joy,
and in your right hand are pleasures for evermore."


Matthew 28: "And they came to him, took hold of his feet, and worshiped him. Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid; go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me."


His Deed/The Day: Went back to the basics — let a car needing to turn in to my lane. Tacked $1 on to my bill at Publix for March of Dimes. Done.

Deedsclosure: Not sure if conscious daily deeding is your thing? Here's some good news that might change your mind. If you're a parent, a spouse, a child, a sibling, a friend — daily deeding is an organic, unplanned occurrence.


As a mom, I can tell you that my job description includes a full day of others-related activities. Like every mom I know, each day is a bouquet of  folding laundry, making beds, shuttling children to activities, making fun plans on their behalf and being available. As a wife, I act in partnership. As a friend, I am there to help when needed, listen and share experiences. In my most humblest of opinions, I feel that all of life's daily chores for others are deeds in themselves.


So maybe conscious daily do-gooding is an unnecessary challenge? Maybe so. Or maybe it is a course in being grateful for the daily opportunities life offers  — and that we have the capacity to seek more work on that long walk to Galilee.

Easter Sunday (Day 392 of Experiment)

Scripture: Ps 118:1-2, 14-24; Acts 10:34-43; 1 Corinthians 15:1-11; John 20:1-18


Scripture standout: John 20: "Jesus said to her, "Mary!" She turned and said to him in Hebrew, "Rabbouni!" (which means Teacher). Jesus said to her, "Do not hold on to me, because I have not yet ascended to the Father. But go to my brothers and say to them, `I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.'" Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples, "I have seen the Lord";"


His Deed/The Day: Everyone, myself included, seems to have gotten up on the wrong side of the Easter bed this morning. There was little interest in the homemade Easter egg hunt and disbelief that all of the eggs contained the same type of candy. Sighing. Disappointment. Quick smile for the camera:

In lieu of going back upstairs and trying again, we're all going to put on our Easter finest and head to church. Then we're going to host family for lunch — and I'm going to indulge in some Easter libations!

Today, Lent is over and the celebration of Easter begins. Light has overtaken the darkness, God wins! How fitting that yesterday, I had another "kitchen moment" — another reminder, not unlike the red jello incident, that our darkest moments often produce total beauty.

The kids and I decided to make a funnetti Easter cake. We chose the bundt pan, with visions of a beautiful Easter wreath sprinkled in Easter candy bits. The dream, however, was not to be realized. When I went to remove the cake from the pan — half of it remained like concrete to the pan sides. A crumbled mess of half the cake spilled onto the Easter plate. Crap! The would-be cake looked like the remnants of a three-year-old's birthday party. Yuck, so not-Easterly.

Upon further scrutiny, I decided the half-cake kinda-sorta resembled an arc. No, maybe a bowl. Better yet, a basket. Holy crap — an Easter Basket! Yes!

This is the result:

Deedsclosure: Holidays are the perfect occasions to share greetings, your time, your home, your love with others.

Last note of housekeeping: Today so ends the Lenten challenge of doing one conscious good deed a day. In eight days, I'll complete the 400 days of daily deeding, which will conclude the blog once and for all. Thanks for reading and happy Easter to you and your family. Make your Third Day count!

Lent Day 45 Holy Saturday (Day 391 of Experiment)

Scripture: Ps 31:1-4, 15-16; Lamentations 3:1-9, 19-24; 1 Peter 4:1-8; Romans 8:1-11; Matthew 27:57-66


Scripture standout: 1 Peter 4: "Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same intention (for whoever has suffered in the flesh has finished with sin), so as to live for the rest of your earthly life no longer by human desires but by the will of God."


His Deed/The Day: Today and yesterday was a fitting way to wrap up Lent — I had the honor of spending 24 hours with two of my four precious goddaughters. Anna and Julia Auchter came with Marley, Ben and me — and two other sweet friends — to watch Disney Toy Story on Ice. The tickets were free to me, but it was so much fun to spoil them all with Chic-Fil-A milkshakes and a bag of cotton candy. Isn't it just the best when you can spoil legitimately? Then the girls came back over to the house for a sleepover. The fun continued today, where we found ourselves by the pool at the beach. 


I am privileged beyond words to be Ben and Marley's mom. I adore every their every hair on their wacky little heads! I am also honored to be the godmother to four beautiful and spunky girls. They are the daughters of three special friends who have been spiritual guides and confidants and friends who are always and unfailingly — there. In addition to the gift of their friendship, my friends Katherine, Lindsey and Kristen have given me four of their little angels to keep an eye on: Anna, 11, and Julia 9; 

Eve, 4; (She's the one with her tongue hanging out of her mouth in concentration)

and Maggie, 4.

Being their godmother is not a chore, or a have-to or a pressure. It is a joy that I thank God for each and every day.


Deedsclosure: As long as it's not a habit or creates an expected standard of behavior, spoil a child you love. Be somebody's fairy godmother! Their smiles are worth every penny of the bibbity-bobbity-boo!

Lent Day 44 Good Friday (Day 390 of Experiment)

Scripture: Ps 22; Isaiah 52:13—53:12; Hebrews 10:16-25; 5:7-9; John 18:1—19:42


Scripture standout: Hebrews: "²⁴ And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, ²⁵ not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.


His Deed/The Day: Today is Good Friday. I wonder why such a dark day is called "Good" Friday. "The Worst Freakin' Friday in the History of the World" sounds like a better title — or maybe a switch out between Good Friday and Black Friday is more appropriate. But good? What the heck is so good about Jesus' death day?


I think our human reaction to death is to wallow in the despair and loss of it all. But the reality is, good ALWAYS comes from death — even if we don't live to see it manifested. I mean, you only need to read to chapters ahead to the story of Jesus' resurrection and the birth of Christianity to see what good came out of Jesus' death. When my mom died 20 years ago, I couldn't imagine what good was supposed to come from that. And I'm not sure I've seen that clear answer. But I trust God has a perfect plan, and somehow — everything happens for the good of God's kingdom.


Today's deed? Well, I know of a few friends/family who need a little spurring on toward love. I might sit here at the computer a while longer (yes, with two children wandering around hopelessly around the desk mouthing "I'm booooored," another reason there is not much "good" about Good Friday school break) and pen a few emails of encouragement. The rest of the day I think I'll reflect on how Jesus washed his servants' feet the night before he died for us all amid screams of "crucify him!"


Deedsclosure: Foot-washing at the Maunday Thursday service is a pretty remarkable experience. I highly suggest it if you haven't tried it before. The message? Even the Lord of us all isn't too good to wash the dirty soles of another. I found the experience to be very similar to the challenge of making a conscious deed every day. Like reaching out in a good deed, foot-washing feels uncomfortable and unnatural. It's aa very intimate act. And it's humbling. You have to get on your hands and knees and scrub one of the dirtiest parts of a stranger's body. And it takes your full attention — all the while, your mind's screaming, "oh wow, yuck — I'm washing a stranger's foot. Awkward!" Your heart? It simultaneously thunders, " and this is the right thing to do." A ying and yang.

Lent Day 43 (Day 389 of Experiment)

Scripture: Ps 116:1, 10-17; Exodus 12:1-4(5-10)11-14; 1 Corinthians 11:23-26; John 13:1-17, 31b-35


Scripture standout: John 13: "After he had washed their feet, had put on his robe, and had returned to the table, he said to them, "Do you know what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord--and you are right, for that is what I am. So if I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have set you an example, that you also should do as I have done to you. Very truly, I tell you, servants are not greater than their master, nor are messengers greater than the one who sent them. If you know these things, you are blessed if you do them."


His Deed/The Day: I'm going to do-good you all (and your husbands) by making a book suggestion. Quickly, and covertly, download 50 Shades of Grey. I read it during our France trip to see what all the fuss was about. Let's just say it gives new meaning to the words "servant" and "master." My college girlfriend who suggested it warned me that I just might join the Mile-High Club if I read it on the plane, and I see what she means now! OK, so it's not a very reverent book to read during Holy Week. But it is a nasty little bit of literature that will help turn you into a Good Samaritan at bedtime. Wink, wink.


Deedsclosure: I could blab on and on about the trials of being a do-gooding wife in this department. But I won't because I struggle here — and it's Holy Week, Maundy Thursday to be exact, and this conversation sounds — so NOT holy. BUT, women who are wiser than I have said how important it is to be a Dolly Do-Gooder in this area. 'Nuff said.

Lent Day 42 (Day 388 of Experiment)

Scripture: Ps 70; Isaiah 50:4-9a; Hebrews 12:1-3; John 13:21-32


Scripture standout: Hebrews 12: "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the sake of the joy that was set before him endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and has taken his seat at the right hand of the throne of God."


His Deed/The Day: Signed up to do a dinner for someone. I love these opportunities. They're such a gift! With all the new "bring them dinner" websites, it is easy to organize and participate in these community support networks.  I'm sure you've gotten them — the emails from someone's committed friend who presents a calendar of open days to bring a struggling family dinner. Dinners are so easy and so meaningful — don't ever over think this one, just sign up and make it happen!


Deedsclosure: I just read a friend's newly launched blog. It's called therightvolume.com and it's beautiful and bright, just like she is! In a description of herself, the author shares how much she loves chicks — her girlfriends, and what joy they bring her. I agree! A little deedsclosure for your daily do-gooding duties: having a stash of awesome girlfriends not only makes you a happier, fuller person — it will make you a better Good Samaritan.


Here's why: To deed effectively, awareness of others is absolutely imperative. Without a present perspective or appreciation for people around you, deeding is impossible. Said another way: if you can't get your head out of your butt and see the needs of those around you, your screwed in the deeding department.  Want to be aware of others? One way is to constantly be in tune with who's in your space. The other way is to keep up with your girlfriends. Now there's a simple remedy! Girlfriends are the first to whisper UNCLE to each other when they're struggling. Girlfriends are good about sharing ways to prop other girlfriends up. And girlfriends will be the first ones to hang by your side when you need that extra support. 


Girlfriends, in a word, rawk deeds. The dinner plan I referenced above? Organized by a girlfriend. Who nudges others when a gal pal is in need? Girlfriends. Who blabs about their worries? Girlfriends. Ever wonder who's behind an important fundraiser or community activity. In most cases, girlfriends.


Make time for your girlfriends. Gather with them. Share your fears and worries — celebrate each other's successes and raise a glass for no reason at all. Here's to girlfriends!

Day 41 of Lent (Day 387 of Experiment)

Scripture: Ps 71:1-14; Isaiah 49:1-7; 1 Corinthians 1:18-31; John 12:20-36; Mark 11: 27-36


Scripture standout: John 12: "²⁴ Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. ²⁵ Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. ²⁶ Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me."


John 12: "³² And I, when I am lifted up^[a] from the earth, will draw all people to myself.”


His Deed/The Day: Coked the yard workers today and upped the payment total at Firehouse Subs to an even amount for the firefighters association — a purchase which included a cherry Coke for ailing Ben. God, I love Firehouse for this obvious do-gooding opportunity. The majority of the day, however, has been spent deeding Ben who is home for day two of some nasty virus. I have been perfecting the chipper and motherly, "Honey, what can I get for you" refrain throughout the day.


Deedsclosure: As always, Miss Honey is an overflowing pot of great ideas when it comes to Good Samaratinizing. She went to Ireland last week and brought back with her the names of all the hotel and restaurant employees who served her in some capacity. Then she wrote their bosses and praised them. What a great idea!

Lent Day 40 (Day 386 of Experiment)

Scripture: Ps 36:5-11; Isaiah 42:1-9; Hebrews 9:11-15; John 12:1-11; Mark 11:12-25

Scripture standout: John 12: "¹ Six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazarus lived, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. ² Here a dinner was given in Jesus’ honor. Martha served, while Lazarus was among those reclining at the table with him. ³ Then Mary took about a pint^[a] of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus’ feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume."

His Deed/The Day: 

I went through a few emails and Facebook posts this morning, and of course, the Forward Day by Day Devotional. Death was a common theme on this Monday before Easter — tre chipper, right? The daily devotional reading shared mention of Lazarus and Mary washing Jesus' feet with rich perfume and her hair. I imagined how overcome with grief they must have been knowing his death was eminent.

A neighbor shared word of her mother's final life struggles. She talked about her stomach being in knots and her heavy heart as she waits and ponders these final hours.

Another friend said today is the fourth anniversary of her father's death. He was taken in a car accident. Her grief is still raw.

I know this grief, and there's no other way to say it than "it sucks." My mother died in an inexplicable, sudden mirage nearly 20 years ago. It still feels surreal. Had I known she would actually die from something as manageable as food poisoning, I wonder if my actions would have been as desperate and passionate as Jesus' friends and disciples. "Do you have to go, Mom? Please DON"T go, Mom. I love you so much I want to be under your skin so you won't leave. Stay longer, Mom. I love you so much I'm going to rub this expensive perfume all over your feet because you deserve this and so much more, Mom."


And I suppose Easter teaches us that there is a Third Day, that light always comes from the darkest corners. But let's be honest — it sucks.


(I Coked the garbage men again...habit, I guess)

Deedsclosure: Here we go. This is it — the whole kit and kaboodle in a nice, well written explanatory package. It is from a Crosswalk devotional shared last week. :

New Life Daily Devotion - March 30, 2012

Help Your Neighbor

Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. - Philippians 2:4

When you see someone who needs help, do you stop?

On a road in England, a van spun out of control and plunged into a lake. In a black limousine, Princess Diana rode past the site. “Pull off here”, she told her driver. The Princess ran toward the van, jumped into the water, and pulled a man out of his vehicle. They waited until the police arrived. The Princess of Wales had saved a homeless vagrant.

Once a Jewish law expert asked Jesus about how to inherit eternal life. Jesus asked the man, “What does the law say?” The man told Jesus, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and Love your neighbor as yourself”. Then Jesus told a story about the Good Samaritan. When some robbers beat up a man, a priest and a religious leader had walked passed this half-dead man . . . yet ignored him. Then a Samaritan man lovingly loaded the man on his donkey and took him to an inn.

It’s easy to walk past people who need our help. But it takes love and concern to look at the people around us as our neighbor. Who is my neighbor? Jesus gave us an example in the Bible, and Princess Diana gave us a modern day example.  

I challenge you today to look for an unexpected opportunity to help someone in need.

“If you haven’t any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.” -Bob Hope (1903-2003)
 

Lent Day 30-39 (Day 376-385 of Experiment)

We are back. France was simply stunning in every way — the company of family perfect and the experience fulfilling in many aspects. And re-entry was not painful — things were in very good shape here, although Ben is sick.

Since I was usually on my third glass of wine, lounging, exploring or cheesing each day of the trip, I decided to Coke people the entire time. Each morning, I packed a semi-cold Coke (nothing is as ice cold as in the U.S.) in my bag and pledged to Coke one person before it got lukewarm and unappealling. Here's how it went down

Sunday: Coked my brother in law Ellis, because he loves Cokes more than life.

Monday: Coked a British student in Eze because he said how thirsty he was

Tuesday: Coked a French janitor in St. Paul

Wednesday: Coked a beggar outside of the St. Remo Casino in Italy

Thursday: Coked a little girl begging by the train station in Nice.

Friday: Coked a construction crewman working on the villa next door to ours. OK, so it was a Minute Maid orange juice (it was all I could find in the house) which is technically a Coke product.

Saturday: Coked a janitor in the Zurich airport.

Sunday: Gatoraded sick Ben. (there is no Coke connection to this product, but it does add life to sick people)

Deedclosure: at 5 CHF ($7) a bottle, Cokes in Switzerland are by far the most expensive.

Lent Day 30 (Day 376 of Experiment)

Scripture: Ps 95, 102, 107; Exodus 2:1-22; 1 Corinthians 12:27—13:3; Mark 9:2-13

Scripture standout: Ps. 95: "For the Lord is a great God,
   and a great King above all gods. 
In his hand are the depths of the earth;
   the heights of the mountains are his also. 
The sea is his, for he made it,
   and the dry land, which his hands have formed."



His Deed/The Day: Today is the final day of Coking — this side of the Atlantic, that is! I'm going to try to blow out this Lenten exercise with another personal best of four Coke giveaways this morning. Then, I'm putting Coking on pause (although I have to admit, it has been REALLY fun and is something I might consider continuing.) 


**As a little sidenote: I was at Publix this morning and founding a Coking target right away: the nice chubby-chatty bagger who helped me out to the car. He was ECSTATIC!!!! Definitely, the most positive Coking response I've gotten all week: "Oh, I LOVE Coke!" he screamed, practically breaking his finger nails off trying to rip the pop top off. "I was just thinking that now was about time for a Coke, thank you!" As I'm backing out of the parking lot I see him slamming the thing by the grocery carts. Score!!!***


We're leaving for the south of France this afternoon and will be in Nice by Saturday. I am going to miss the kids and my little routine of a life very much, but am looking forward to being in another culture and setting. It will be nice to be reminded of this world's scope and beauty!


I won't be blogging for this almost final week of Lent. BUT be assured at least eight French citizens will be deeded by something in my toolbox — whether it's a mildly icy little glass of Coke at the local cafe or stopping for a madame to cross the street. I hope you will, too! Bon jour!


Deedsclosure: Deeding is not an English-speaking only endeavor. Holding a door or sharing a smile or, ahem, passing out a Coke does not require language or too much cultural awareness. I do not speak French. But I can make sure I don't slam a door in someone's face. There is no language barrier to putting others first. 

Lent Day 29 (Day 375 of experiment)

Scripture: Ps 69:1-38, Ps 73; Exodus 1:6-22; 1 Corinthians 12:12-26; Mark 8:27-9:1


Scripture standout: Ps 69: "³³ The LORD hears the needy "


Ps 73: "²⁸ But as for me, it is good to be near God. 
   I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
   I will tell of all your deeds."

1 Corinthians 12: "²⁶ If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it."

Mark 8: "³⁴ Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me."


His Deed/The Day: I packed three cold Cokes this morning — out to break my personal record. After chapel, I saw the Po Po — he was getting something out of the back of his patrol car. I rolled up on him and extended a Coke. "Well, I'm not really a Coke drinker," he tells me, holding the can — reluctantly. (This is where I imagine myself saying, "Boo! Then what do you drink — Joe Mama Soda?...and telling him where he can shove the can) Then he says, "What, do you just pass out Cokes to people?" Unashamed, I nodded. That's right, I said to myself with personal conviction. I. Pass. Out. Cokes. (at least during this week of Lent)


I continued down San Jose to drop something off at The Bolles School — apparently, I did not include our 2012-2013 tuition contract with the moola we sent them last month. Small oversight! There was a landscape maintenance man in a golf cart working on a hedge near the school's entrance. Let's just say, I was down to one last Coke. Sweet!


Last stop, the Starbucks to hang up a poster for one of our church ladies who is throwing an antique and garden party. On the way out, my Coke-dar went berserk over the small, Mayan looking worker man smoking and weeding and sweating in the corner of the parking lot. I 86'd the final Coke.


Fresh out  until tomorrow...


Deedsclosure: Relish in and be grateful for those moments when you are deeded my "a part" — a friend, neighbor, family member, stranger or colleague. Parts is parts! (remember that ad? If you don't, it is below for your reflective enjoyment:)

I am a lucky girl — I've got some goooood parts. There are several people in my life who love to dole out deeds to me. David does them daily — picking up my slack in the kitchen or life in general. Right this minute I'm looking at a framed white board from him that says "I love you because..." and he changes the message from time to time. It currently says "...you have a great laugh and beautiful smile." Awwww! 


Lindsey, my best friend and RB (running buddy), is another culprit part when it comes to deeding this 40-something part. Last night, in fact, she brought over a French goodie bag to help send me off to the land of frogs. In addition to packing two fabulous chunks of stinky cheese and a bottle of French Chardonnay, she included some helpful French translations that I might need to pull out over there: "More wine, please...Do you have something for my sister-in-law's toe fungus (a ruse...clearly it's for moi but the thought was there might be some powerful OTC that isn't allowed here yet! Smart thinking!)...Excuse me sir, would you like this Coke? (har har)... and..."More wine NOW please!"


I am grateful every day for friends like Lindsey and David and all the many others who help me out. I just need to remember to tell them more often. After all, parts is parts!